Ten Rules for Respect

1. If you have a problem with me, come to me (privately).

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2. If I have a problem with you, I’ll come to you (privately). 

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3. If someone has a problem with me and comes to you, send them to me (I’ll do the same for you).

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4. If someone consistently will not come to me, say, “Let’s go together. I’m sure he/she will see us about this.”

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5. Be careful how you interpret me—I’d rather do that. On matters that are unclear, do not feel pressured to interpret my feelings or thoughts. It is easy to misrepresent intentions.

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6. I will be careful how I interpret you.

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7. If it’s confidential, don’t tell. If anyone comes to me in confidence, I won’t tell unless the person is going to harm himself/herself, or physically harm some one else, or a child has been physically or sexually abused. I expect the same from you.

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8. I do not read unsigned letters or notes.

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9. I do not manipulate; I will not be manipulated; don’t let others manipulate you; don’t let others manipulate me through you.

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10. When in doubt, just say it. If I can answer without misrepresenting something or breaking a confidence, I will.